Saturday 12 November 2011

In A Hotel Room In Kansas City II

Rachel here.

It's been over a week since we got here. We've not been in any once place since I joined for this long, and it only took a few days for signs that someone was following us, or even just the heavy unease of paranoia.

And here, there's none of that. It's like this whole thing never happened.

Peter's more paranoid than ever. And since there's nothing for him to be paranoid about, it's just making him more insecure - thus, making him more paranoid. It's a vicious cycle.

Natalie's amazing. She's being amazing, I mean. She's already getting along with the locals. She's so outgoing and confident and resourceful. Her and Peter have been going off to train with the guns Roland bought for us all a lot, and combat training besides that. They've been inseparable, even though their outlooks on this situation could not be more different. Peter's sure there's something coming around the corner, but Natalie is damn near setting down roots to start a new life here. When she told me that, she looked at Peter. I felt like shit. We were really close just a few weeks ago, but now that we're here, she's getting closer and closer to Peter, and it feels like shit.  I just feel really excluded.

I know that Peter will read this. It's not your fault. I'm just...She wants to spend time with you more than she does with me right now.

Ugh. I just needed to get that off my chest.

I'd imagine Peter will be posting about the findings in the library soon. You've got that to look forward to, at least.

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